Citizens of China! Your country needs you! To advance our revolutionary ideals, the glorious Communist Party, whose historic destiny it is to lead your country into the future, offers you the opportunity to toil with us for the nation's greatness and prosperity! Answer these four questions and join us!
1. A young Shanghainese woman publishes a graphic semi-autobiographical novel about her love life. Do you
a) take no action to respect her freedom of expression;
b) quickly arrange for negative reviews to appear in The Peoples' Daily; or,
c) denounce the book as a decadent threat to the moral wellbeing of the nation, and order that all copies be seized and publicly burnt?
2. You are a county official in Sichuan Province. A powerful earthquake strikes the region, and thousands of schoolchildren die when their schools collapse, while all the surrounding buildings stay upright. Do you
a) order an immediate investigation into the bidding and construction in order to hold to account the incompetent, arrogant and corrupt;
b) quietly arrange for compensation to be paid to the parents, and for the reconstruction to be overseen by Beijing; or,
c) silence the parents with bribes, lies and threats, and harrass any journalists who try to report?
3. You are a senior Party official in Wuhan county. A man dies in police custody after claiming that they covered up the alleged rape and murder of his niece by one of your junior comrades. A large, angry crowd has gathered in protest. Do you
a) order an immediate investigation into the deaths in order to hold to account the incompetent, arrogant and corrupt;
b) quietly arrange for your comrade to be reassigned to a minor post in a remote province; or,
c) send the army in to break up the protests and detain the ringleaders, and harass any journalists who try to report?
4. You are a senior member of the Politburo. A large mass of protesters are occupying Tiananmen Square, tiresomely asking that they be allowed some measure of control over their lives. Do you
a) announce a limited program of reforms;
b) agree to meet the leaders for discussions if the protesters disperse; or,
c) send the tanks in and lie about it forever?
EVALUATION
Mostly (a): you are clearly a subversive reactionary capitalist-roader counter-revolutionary stinking snake ox spirit in severe need of substantial re-education in Maoist thought. We know where you are; expect a knock at the door within half a minute.
Mostly (b): while some of your thinking is orthodox, you are not sufficiantly zealous to join our glorious revolutionary quest. Better luck next time!
Mostly (c): welcome, Comrade! We can clearly rely on you to selflessly serve the Greater Socialist Good! A limousine will arrive soon to whisk you to your new rooftop penthouse, from which you may look down on the proles in every way.
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